You are His
You are His.
We truly do forget and find it hard to grasp that we are children of a God or that our Savior is our brother. They know us very well and they wish to be with us. But their reality in our lives is so easily forgotten in the chaos of this world. We can sing and know every word to the song “I am a Child of God” and yet still not grasp the concept.
I know that my Heavenly Father is real. I know He is aware of me. I think the first time I really came to know that I really did have a father in heaven was when I was 14. A member of my family was going through a trial and it tested my faith. I felt such deep sorrow and lacked understanding as to how my heart could ever be healed or how understanding could ever come. I remember having a moment where I was in bed and completely upset. I thought to myself this Gospel is either all true or not. My Father in Heaven is either there for me or He is not. What do I truly believe? Do I truly believe all that I have learned in primary and young womens is true? I decided yes. I believed. I thought my Father was there and my Savior was real. Those events in the scriptures did happen a long time ago and I could use that same Gospel in my life. The spirit testified to me that I was right. I felt warmth and peace.
It was a few years later that I had a sacred experience that truly showed me that God knew me personally. In essence, I received an answer for someone else’s prayer that I knew nothing about. It was an experience that taught me that God knew exactly who Wendy Whiting was. He knew me. He knew what I needed, who my friends were, and what family I was a part of. He knew my address, He knew where I was, what my talents were, and what my feelings were. Best of all, He cared about me and what happened in my life along with all the things I loved or cherished. He cared enough about me and others in my life to show us in a very real way that He knew us very precisely.
Fast forward to my adult years. I was going through a deeply difficult trial I could not make sense of. I agreed to walk the path of this trial because I hoped it would bring me a better life. The thing is, it just did not happen at all in the way I expected, but it happened in the way I needed. God was helping me become a better me through the refiner’s fire. I was being burned, tested, and asked to be patient as well as fight through the difficulties. I am not great at patience and I was tired from the fight. I found myself feeling rejected and broken. I had lost sight of the amazing person I was. I felt beaten, I felt like I was not enough, and I thought that I had failed myself. My confidence was gone and anxieties were high. My situation was a little bit out of my personal control. I found myself focusing on and obsessing over everything and possibly all the wrong things. I was doing all the little things and was keeping the commandments, but something was still missing. I started praying with more intent. I prayed all the time, but I didn’t always pray like I was having a conversation with a real being. I tried to really focus when I prayed to try to fix that. Then during one particularly hard day, when I truly was trying to find myself and figure out how I could fix this mess with God, God showed me some perspectives I needed to change. Maybe I did not need to pray to have the ability to fix everything myself or whatever craziness we pray for. But maybe I needed to work WITH my Savior. This day I had been agonizing over my situation and was really trying to analyze my emotions along with the real story of what was going on with me. I tried to talk things out with friends. I felt better. But then at lunch that day, Youtube suggested a video from the church’s YouTube Channel on my video feed. I figured it could only help. The video was entitled, “Spiritual Beings and the Human” and it featured Matt Townsend speaking about how we perceive situations. The talk truly was an answer to my prayers. I loved the subject matter because it helped me to view the issues I was having in a way I had desperately needed with that specific trial. But He also asked the audience to do something that I think changed my life. He asked the viewers to imagine Christ was there with us when we prayed. I had done this before but never had I had this exercise bring so much power. He asked us to imagine the Savior next to us, to imagine the Savior reaching out for us, and just holding us as we wept. I immediately imagined it. I felt my Savior right there beside me. I think when I envision heaven I envision grasping my Savior in the deepest hug, thanking Him, and just truly melting into His embrace. Though I have a wonderful life to live, I long for that day when I can hug my Savior. But on this crazy hard day, I felt him. I felt Him hold me and show me that He was right there. NOW. He was there now. And He was not leaving. Maybe I had been doing life and trials all wrong. I was trying to do things according to my Savior’s will but doing them from afar. People have talked about coming closer to Christ and I always figured that meant learning more of His works so we can be like Him and do better. But what if coming closer to Christ was more physical in a spiritual sense? I felt Him. He was there with me. I need to be going through my trials WITH my Savior. He is there. Right there. Why did I think and act like He was helping me through the tin can phone string? My eyes were opened and I realized our Savior is with us in a very real sense. If we pray as if He is real, If we obey as if the commandments are what He is personally asking us to do, If we acknowledge Him, and if we truly let him in, then we will be able to more fully work with Him through our hardships of our lives.
In John 14-15 the Savior teaches us that He is with us if we choose Him. He teaches us that He is the comforter, but that another comforter will be sent to us which shall be the Holy Ghost. He promises us that He will not leave us comfortless. He will come to us. That promise is my favorite scripture because that was the one that gave me comfort and hope when I was 14. Now, many years later, that scripture has provided new hope as I have realized through the atonement and through the Holy Ghost, and possibly so much more, He truly does not leave us. He is there when we need Him. Always.
I cannot wait to learn how to hone in on these opportunities to progress through my trials with my Savior. But I know He is there. He loves us. He wants to be with us and guide us. However, we have to let Him. We have to be obedient and to truly let Him into our lives. We are the ones that have to open the door.